Every Sunday, well most Sundays we say the penitential Rite and the usual prayer used is the Confiteor, i.e. the “I confess”. Now it starts
“I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do…”
And the thought part just got me going. I mean who has control over their thoughts? It’s hard enough to remember when I’ve done wrong on spot now I gotta remember the thoughts too? Truth be told I probably murder and disembowel some people in my thoughts. I don’t think it will ever spill over to real life but it made me wonder. Why is it so much harder to control my thoughts? Why is it so much harder to also feel sorry for them? Why confess them?
It’s true the more I dwell on a thought the more likely it manifests, I either say it it, do it or see it. So comes in the take off having mastery over my wayward mind. One way I’ve been trying to be a bit more in touch and to make sure that it’s better governed is by doing the Examen. What has happened is that I am more aware of my thoughts when they occur, I am more aware of the thoughts I should not be having, and as a result I have become a bit more contrite for them.
But till the time such thoughts will not longer come to my mind, I will be one of those fervently repeating that part of the Confiteor and doing a mind cringe as I think of the person I dressed down or so uncharitably in my grey matter… noisy neighbours top of the list…. in thought…