Saving Graces

new mercies each and every day

I’ll wait for you…

Oct
10

There is this very talented artist by the name of Janette-Ikz ok I’m not sure if that’s her name because there are a lot of alliterations of her name “Mysterious Genetics = MissTerious Janette-Ikz” and her poem “I will wait for you” is phenomenal… I am going to learn it to use for our TOB rallies, talks and retreats because it is so powerful… all credit to Janette-Ikz of course  and the good Lord for blessing her with such awesome talent (words below ht)

I WILL WAIT FOR YOU” BY JANETTE IKZ

So it seemed that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands, and ended up with him.
Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, & a thief. So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,
Cause it was me who let him in…
Claiming we were “just friends”.
It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t!
I was gonna make him ‘The One’
You know, I was tired of being alone.
And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time,
So I decided to drag him along for the ride,
Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride.
A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat!
Who was tired of the wait!
So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.
He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.
But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough.
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me.
Arties so clogged with my will, it blocked His will from flowing through me.
So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,
That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back
Through my ignorance He sawed,
Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest
To transplant Psalm 51:10
A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!
So now I fully understand,
Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,
How much I need to wait… for You.
See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..
Cause in the beginning was the Word
And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,
And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –
Which meant NOTHING.
He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to,
Asking him to fast would be absurd!
So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…
But I know You..
You were already praying for me.
Even never having met me,
Let me assure you, I will wait for you.
I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirstiness I have for attention
And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.
You know….
He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?
His first name LUKE,
His last name WARM.
I, I won’t settle for false companionship
I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,
Attempting to find some closeness,
But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held
Cause ”all I gotta do is Say” No!
No more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’
Passing winks & buying drinks,
I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!
Who flirts with the ideology of,
‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’
NO more.
I’ll stay in my bed alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you.
He won’t even come close,
Our fingers won’t even interlock
We won’t even exchange breath
Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down,
From so-called friends & family talks,
About the concern for my biological clock
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is NOT subject to time,
But I’M subject to Him,
He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…
So if we could role play,
You would be Abraham & I would be Sara
Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebecca – a servant’s answered prayer
I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,
Made up of your rib Adam!
And once we meet, like electrons
I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you add Him.
We were all created in His image,
But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you looked like,
You would have to look like a star,
A son of the Son..
I would gain energy simply from the light on me.
I would need you , in order to complete my photosynthesis
I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you.
And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,
Your faith will remind me of Abraham,
Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,
Your heart for God will remind me of David,
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,
And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,
But your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,
Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me, and you will find me,
Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna.
I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.
But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth
Only if you should see fit…
I desire Your will above mine,
So even if you call me to a life of singleness,
My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.
YOU are the greatest love story ever told,
The greatest story ever known
You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness
And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business
Oh, I will always be Yours!
And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning
More than the watchmen wait for the morning…
I will wait.

TOB Tuesday: Meaning of Original Solitude

May
10

image_thumb9_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumb Been a while ha? What with Easter Monday being a holiday and last Monday as well because of Workers day it’s been a while. And I had missed the one before that because of vigil dance practice, the things I do… sigh. Anyway, today was a good session and we discussed original solitude. Yes ‘tis still Monday but this will only get published tomorrow so ‘tis still TOB Tuesday post.

We are now in Chapter 5 of Man and Woman He Created Them which is all about the Meaning of Original Solitude. MA highlighted that we need to delve into and understand that there was solitude before there was unity… and why this is important. The unity part we kinda understand, so where does the solitude come from? “Moses allowed you to divorce … but in the beginning, it was not so…  we are still in the beginning. And in the beginning man and woman were not together… or were they? MA explained something I’m still finding a bit difficult to comprehend; that as told in the creation story “man” as in mankind was created, and man imaged God, but man was not male nor female… man was… man. Man was mankind and as such embodied both male and female sexuality not one or the other. So when ‘Adam’ is put to ‘sleep’ only after he awakens is he male and there too is now Eve, female. Note the quotes ‘Adam’ in quotes is generally ‘mankind’. Let’s explain.

So everyone put in quite a lot of info so this again is précis of all that was said. For the intention of a relationship, there needs to be two entities, we need at least another for a relationship to be possible. God is relational in that He is 3 persons. He created us in His image but we are not 3 persons in one. So how and when do we reflect God’s image? Always but more so and more perfectly when we are in unity, then we mirror the communion of three persons – a true reflection of God. “Let us create man in our own image” i.e “Let us create a communion of persons that reflects us” thus making man always relational. Thus ‘Adam’ was not just man but mankind. Through carrying out God’s commands to till the earth and name the animals ‘Adam’ reaches self-actualisation and realises that he is different from the animals and he longs for a deep communion with someone like himself (or should I say itself mmm).

In that solitude, Adam realises that he needed God. This is true for all mankind. In solitude we get closer to God, we ‘find’ God and begin to know ourselves better, we self-actualise. We realise that we are called to communion and relationship. So after the ‘sleep’, Adam is reawakened, in a sense ‘reborn’ as two, Isha and Ish, (Adam and Eve in the English translation). This name change is significant for only after the ‘split’ the creation of woman from the rib is there male and female. The maleness and femaleness of ‘man’ is only evident after the creation of Ish. As man we only complete each other through the definition of our sexuality, that is mankind has sexuality and one cannot be without the other, both are needed for there to be mankind. Then we began wondering so was ‘Adam’ not a perfect creation, if he was humanity why did he need to split into male and female, and did God not know this as he created Adam, or He did and …

And what about free will is it truly free if God knows what is going to happen and it’s a plan He has set in motion… how’s a plan free will and…? yeah we digressed… but we did come to some important points. Like the bible shows us the reasons such as it is not good for man to be alone we need communion with each other. It does not show us the ‘thought processes’ of God as such.  Free will is not about God laying His plan and we having to conform, for we sure can go astray. It’s about us making a choice for the good, a choice to love. A choice. And this ‘splitting’ of Adam (mmm beginning to sound a bit schizoid) is the introduction of choice. The beginning of free will for then man began to choose to love, to choose to complete a perfect union of giving and receiving thus truly reflecting God.  Truly reflecting and sharing in love…for love ain’t love till ‘tis chosen freely right?

MA explained that the call to evangelise is the call to reflect God in our lives so that people can say gee-whiz because we will be reflecting ultimate love. MdK gave a simple analogy I loved. See God as a teacher and ourselves as little kids and His pupils. As a teacher, He knows what we need to do in order to pass, i.e. to study, to concentrate, to attend lessons, but He cant do it for us. As a diligent teacher, He will give you all the help you need, the tutorials, the prompting, use techniques to make you see and understand why it is better for you to work towards passing. But the work still has to be done by me. Just because He can see that you are going to fail does not mean He will pass you regardless. It will hurt when He sees you wasting time and throwing away your books but He will continually keep showing you the right way.

So it is in life, the Lord puts all sorts of cues for us to be reminded of our path and of His will. And that path leads to ultimate joy when we align our ‘free will’ with His ‘divine will’. MA then gave this titbit from Christopher West, that when we think of Adam and Eve, think of their perfect relationship with God before the fall which mirrors the perfect love of God. ‘Adam’ was created for a perfect relationship. That is mankind was FIRST created for relationship THEN for conjugal union. God created relationships as a communion of persons before ‘male and female’ were in being. Therefore when people talk of sex before marriage being a non-issue or being for pleasure alone, remember this: we were created for relationship and communion before sex, so let our relationships follow the same path, great relationship and friendship before conjugal relations.

Adios… for now

I love language.

Jan
25

I love language. I love it when it used well. I love it when is spoken. I wonder if I  will ever be wordsmith that inspires as others do when they use language. Listen to this poem, Totally like whatever, you know? by Taylor Mali in a Typography project posted by Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

Rosary Trimmin’s – poem

Oct
29

Love, Love, LOVE, this poem! got it from What Does Prayer Really Say:

THE TRIMMIN’S ON THE ROSARY by John O’Brien

Ah, the memories that find me now my hair is turning gray,
Drifting in like painted butterflies from paddocks far away;
Dripping dainty wings in fancy – and the pictures, fading fast,
Stand again in rose and purple in the album of the past.
There’s the old slab dwelling dreaming by the wistful, watchful trees,
Where the coolabahs are listening to the stories of the breeze;
There’s a homely welcome beaming from its big, bright friendly eyes,
With The Sugarloaf behind it blackened in against the skies;
There’s the same dear happy circle round the boree’s cheery blaze
With a little Irish mother telling tales of other days.
She had one sweet, holy custom which I never can forget,
And a gentle benediction crowns her memory for it yet;
I can see that little mother still and hear her as she pleads,
“Now it’s getting on to bed-time; all you childer get your beads.”
There were no steel-bound conventions in that old slab dwelling free;
Only this – each night she lined us up to say the Rosary;
E’en the stranger there, who stayed the night upon his journey, knew
He must join the little circle, ay, and take his decade too.
I believe she darkly plotted, when a sinner hove in sight
Who was known to say no prayer at all, to make him stay the night.
Then we’d softly gather round her, and we’d speak in accents low,
And pray like Sainted Dominic so many years ago;
And the little Irish mother’s face was radiant, for she knew
That “where two or three are gathered” He is gathered with them too.
O’er the paters and the aves how her reverent head would bend!
How she’d kiss the cross devoutly when she counted to the end!
And the visitor would rise at once, and brush his knees – and then
He’d look very, very foolish as he took the boards again.
She had other prayers to keep him. They were long, long prayers in truth;
And we used to call them “Trimmin’s” in my disrespectful youth.
She would pray for kith and kin, and all the friends she’d ever known,
Yes, and everyone of us could boast a “trimmin”’ all his own.
She would pray for all our little needs, and every shade of care
That might darken o’er The Sugarloaf, she’d meet it with a prayer.
She would pray for this one’s “sore complaint,” or that one’s “hurted hand,”
Or that someone else might make a deal and get “that bit of land”;
Or that Dad might sell the cattle well, and seasons good might rule,
So that little John, the weakly one, might go away to school.
There were trimmin’s, too, that came and went; but ne’er she closed without
Adding one for something special “none of you must speak about.”
Gentle was that little mother, and her wit would sparkle free,
But she’d murder him who looked around while at the Rosary:
And if perchance you lost your beads, disaster waited you,
For the only one she’d pardon was “himself” – because she knew
He was hopeless, and ‘twas sinful what excuses he’d invent,
So she let him have his fingers, and he cracked them as he went,
And, bedad, he wasn’t certain if he’d counted five or ten,
Yet he’d face the crisis bravely, and would start around again;
But she tallied all the decades, and she’d block him on the spot,
With a “Glory, Daddah, Glory!” and he’d “Glory” like a shot.
She would portion out the decades to the company at large;
But when she reached the trimmin’s she would put herself in charge;
And it oft was cause for wonder how she never once forgot,
But could keep them in their order till she went right through the lot.
For that little Irish mother’s prayers embraced the country wide;
If a neighbour met with trouble, or was taken ill, or died,
We could count upon a trimmin’ – till, in fact, it got that way
That the Rosary was but trimmin’s to the trimmin’s we would say.
Then “himself” would start keownrawning – for the public good, we thought –
“Sure you’ll have us here till mornin’. Yerra, cut them trimmin’s short!”
But she’d take him very gently, till he softened by degrees –
“Well, then, let us get it over. Come now, all hands to their knees.”
So the little Irish mother kept her trimmin’s to the last,
Every growing as the shadows o’er the old selection passed;
And she lit our drab existence with her simple faith and love,
And I know the angels lingered near to bear her prayers above,
For her children trod the path she trod, nor did they later spurn
To impress her wholesome maxims on their children in their turn.
Ay, and every “sore complaint” came right, and every “hurted hand”;
And we made a deal from time to time, and got “that bit of land”;
And Dad did sell the cattle well; and little John, her pride,
Was he who said the Mass in black the morning that she died;
So her gentle spirit triumphed – for ‘twas this, without a doubt,
Was the very special trimmin’ that she kept so dark about.

. . . . .

But the years have crowded past us, and the fledglings all have flown,
And the nest beneath The Sugarloaf no longer is their own;
For a hand has written “finis” and the book is closed for good –
Here’s a stately red-tiled mansion where the old slab dwelling stood;
There the stranger has her “evenings,” and the formal supper’s spread,
But I wonder has she “trimmin’s” now, or is the Rosary said?
Ah, those little Irish mothers passing from us one by one!
Who will write the noble story of the good that they have done?
All their children may be scattered, and their fortunes windwards hurled,
But the Trimmin’s on the Rosary will bless them round the world.

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER – a poem

Oct
14

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER
By Maya Angelou

‘A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.’

When I say…. ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not shouting ‘I’m clean living,’
I’m whispering ‘I was lost, Now I’m found and forgiven.’

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say. ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I still feel the sting of pain…
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say… ‘I am a Christian’ I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow!

Pretty is as Pretty does… But beautiful is just plain beautiful!

Rome Sweet Home: Book review

Jul
16

I have finished reading Rome sweet home by the Hahns!!!! wow, actually I finished it on Tuesday but have only got to writing about it now. Now I have to read it again!

It was like having the remaining scales fall of mine eyes and seeing the glory of the Lord. Thing is I’ve always had problems with some Catholic ‘stuff’ for lack of a better word, but after I made the decision to be Catholic I endeavoured to study and understand them you know. And the Hahns put most of it real simple like… just like Catholicism for Dummies does, of which I’m on chapter 2!!! What can I say the Lord has blessed me with a mind and a love of reading so I am partaking, boy am I partaking!

One thing it did was introduce me to a lot of protestant language I’ve never really known, of late I’ve been seeing “crossing the Tiber” often as I have been reading a bit, no a lot of conversion stories.Why, I don’t know they just appeal to me. The book has highlighted the path that I’ve been on for a while now; to live my faith to the full, to partake of the sacraments and to know why we have some of the practices we have so as to actually practice them in the right spirit. I want everyone to read it, even if it does not make them convert it would sure clear up a lot of misunderstandings out there. It’s beautifully written and it brought to mind why someone would think we are part of an anti-Christ movement until one delves into the Word and gets the reasons for all we do outline in intricate and not so intricate detail.

Suffice it to say when I like a book I read it super fast.. case in point here. So I have to read it again now and learn from it, in other words, a book all should read!

On another note, I watched The Proposal on Sunday! Good movie! I haven’t watched one I enjoyed so much in a long time. Could have done without the stripper scene though or naked shower scene. The movie was good enough to be a hit without them but I guess, as they say, sex (unfortunately) sells. It was really funny and highlighted that love can grow anywhere, anytime. Had a good true to life ending 😀 what more can a girl want!

Trepidatious excitement – books

Jun
05

Trepidatious excitement. Oxymoron.

I’m choosing books this week for book club! Yippee yippee ya ya!

Thing is, as excited as I am, I am a bit concerned as to what books to get, hence the trepidation. The books will after all be mine in the end so it should be something I like, and should be something the book club has yet to read, which already narrows down the field considerably. It also has to be something that at least half of the book club would want to read methinks. And my weekends are so busy, finding a quaint bookstore is nearly impossible without wheels, so I shall hunt online. Now if only I had a credit card…

On my list for now is It’s Not about Me by Max Lucado

My recital – a poem

Jun
01

I have created my recital and my talk for Pentecost tomorrow yay! The recital is below… modge-podge from me and other various sources. Most of the bottom part is not mine and I have borrowed it from a poeI i saw online…

The dreariness of the morn draws nigh,
The dragging of day that brings sighs;
the hopelessness of a hungry cry

The barrenness of the mind,
Near deafening silence
And the emptiness within becomes so loud
The loneliness that crushes the heart

The screams of the murdered
The howls of the oppressed
The cries, oh the cries!
That say evil has been here

There is no light,
Total darkness abounds,
In this total darkness,
We fumble about uselessly,

There be no peace here,
There be no joy,
There be sadness,
There just be bleakness.
And despair!!!!!
Deathly despair

A beam of light shines
Into that darkness,
And from this total darkness
The beam is a beacon calling out,

Arise from the grave and aspire
ARISE AND ASPIRE
Arise from the grave and aspire
Arise and aspire

Pursue the beam as it shines out,
Onwards as far as it goes
Back to the Source from whence it comes

I, the Lord, am the Source of light,
From whom light shines forth

There Beams of hope God freely gives,
Little treasures in life He fills.
Reaching out to the oppressed
Shinning beams of tenderness.
Giving hope to all in need,
precious gifts from God above,
His perfect love

There’s a Cathedral in all around me,
And it’s under an open sky,
Where creation sings God’s praises
To whoever passes by.
The stars display His Glory
For every eye to see,

While the wind tells of His Love,
As it goes from tree to tree.
No choir could match the beauty
Of this Eternal song,
While all Heaven waits expectantly,
Knowing Jesus won’t be long.

A sunrise
A sunset
A smile
A hug
A kiss
A heartfelt laugh

The twinkling of a love in the twinkling of an eye
And in the beauty of that moment
You might glimpse the Fathers Heart,
As His compassion flows from Heaven,
As I reach out and do my part.

So, take me to the Father,
To His Throne above,
And let me sit upon His knee,
And know His tender Love.

I say take me to The Father,
To His Throne above,
And let me sit upon His knee,
Yes on daddy’s knee

In His perfect love

Girl meets God – Book

Apr
07

I have been reading “Girl meets God” by Lauren Winner, it is so real to me it’s as if a part of me may have actually taken part in its writing. Here I was thinking how books that I like most are ones that I relate to, that I see myself somehow in the protagonist or that I want to see myself in, like a few years from now or how I’m trying to model myself and then a few pages later Lauren writes about how the students she liked were usually ones she saw herself in a few years back, ones who when they read a new work or concept they have never come across they find themselves suddenly hunting down material to get to know more about it, immerse themselves in this subject matter till their amateur gurus… the exact way I do… and my current topic? Judaism, because they are way too many references in her book that I do not get so I feel as if, if I am getting so much from this book at this exact moment when all these Jewish refs are over my head how much more would I get if I could understand all her references to seder, tzniut, niggunim, halacha etc. “Girl meets God” is definitely one I should get for my library. The library I’ll have one day when I can actually afford to buy books, at the moment I am ever grateful for book club (from which I took 15 books this month) and public libraries.

Hadassah : One Night With the King – Book

Oct
22

Author: Tommy Tenney ISBN-10: 0764229435 Genre: Christian Fiction

The memorable story of Esther in the Bible is now retold through the eyes of Esther. As Hadassah Kesselman prepares for her wedding day, she finds the experience steeped in mystery. Hadassah Kesselman is required to read the story of Esther before her wedding day and soon learns of Esther’s horrifying childhood experiences and mysterious awakenings into womanhood. The scent of myrrh lingers on the pages as an exciting drama unfolds in moments of sexual tension, suspense and intrigue.

Esther’s story is truly brought to life in this retelling filled with political conspiracies, wars, longings of the heart and brutal action. In her search for G-d, she also finds her place in the world and begins to understand her true destiny. Must she sacrifice herself to the King of Persia and fall prey to Haman’s evil intentions?

Loved it totally blown away!!! Definitely a must read. Thanks for the heads up Dass!