Saving Graces

new mercies each and every day

Motherhood of a different kind

Oct
09

Part of the feminine genius is that we are called to motherhood. This is motherhood in all it’s different forms, physical, spiritual, emotional ad infinitum. Sometimes that’s hard to see especially when single and waiting and praying to one day be a mother. I came across the quote below recently from The Great Divorce by CS Lewis.

motherhood photo

Photo by rahego

“And who are all these young men and women on each side?”
“They are her sons and daughters.”
“She must have had a very large family, Sir.”
“Every young man or boy that met her became her son – even if it was only the boy that brought the meat to her back door. Every girl that met her was her daughter.”
“Isn’t that a bit hard on their own parents?”
“No. There are those that steal other people’s children. But her motherhood was of a different kind. Those on whom it fell went back to their natural parents loving them more. Few men looked on her without becoming, in a certain fashion, her lovers. But it was the kind of love that made them not less true, but truer, to their own wives.”

 

After reading this I was so struck! It made me stop. I want to be like this woman. So I started reading The Great Divorce; well listening to the audio book.

I’ve always wanted to be great, not necessarily famous, though that would be nice sometimes, but great at something nonetheless. Great enough at it so as to make a difference in the world we live in and when I pass-on for people to say, she did well and impacted our lives, she changed them for the better. That morphed over time to, I still want to be great but maybe not great here on earth in a tangible to the masses kind of way, but great by having been a mother to all who encounter me, a nurturer, an carer a bringer of life, not one who destroys it or takes it apart, or leaves other desolate and sad. I want to bring happiness, kindness, patience, to bring life and love into the world.

In my own little way I do, when I mother the children around me. There is this Africanism that it takes a village to raise a child, and where possible I try. Todays world makes it no longer so easy, people do not like you in their children’s space or correcting their children, but at Guides and Brownies, when teaching or tutoring, I become a mother for a little while, showing the girls to be honest and true, making them laugh, teaching them a skill, taking them camping, hiking and rock climbing and praying no-one has more than scratches or grazes to show for our adventures. When babysitting or visiting friends with babies, I become a mother for a little while, when distracting them for mom or dad to do something, when tickling them to make them laugh, when feeding and burping. When teaching or tutoring I become a mother for a little while as I practice patience, showing them over and over again for the umpteenth time how to do something just so. In mass I smile and make funny faces at the toddler just about to cry, so that he stops and wonders who is this crazy lady and may even forget why he was about to be upset anyway… doesn’t always work, but when it does yaaay. A motherhood of a different kind, and I love every bit of it.

But with the little people it’s easy, it just happens and comes naturally. It’s with the bigger people I struggle to practice the feminine genius of motherhood. I am not as patient with them, I am not as loving, I am not as open to bringing new life into theirs. They do not leave me to go and love their parents and loved ones more for having encountered me. Case in point I just hung up on a young woman who made me agro because she swore at me. I will see her later today and have no idea what to say to her to diffuse the situation, I want a good outcome but I find it hard to love her as she should be loved. I find it hard to practice this motherhood of a different kind. So Holy Spirit and Jesus give me the right words to say.

At work it’s also very hard to be nurturing, giving, everyone has their own agenda, me included. And suddenly an opportunity has come up for me to teach fulltime, little people. I know it will change me, life will be less complicated in some aspects and more difficult in others, money being one as a teachers salary will be a shadow of what I earn now. But maybe it’s time to step back and allow God to work on my heart and be more patient with older people, to have less stresses of a corporate nature and have simpler stresses, of forming young minds, ha as if that’s simpler but you know what I mean, I hope. Maybe it’s time for me to step up that motherhood of a different kind and know I am changing lives, something I am not always sure of at work. Maybe… if only God’s whispers were louder, you know like shouts. Should I pursue this new opportunity or not?!?!? One day I’ll be sure what He wants me to do. For now I’ll ponder this passage and finish reading The Great Divorce, well listen to it.

waxless xoxoxo

Photo by rahego

my session presentation

Oct
25

holy photoSo I was in charge of Wednesday Faith Sharing session today, and this is what I did, tryng to focus on holiness. A lot of it was copied off the web 😀

Holiness is a purity of the heart, undefiled, separate from sin(ners). We cannot become holy without the Spirit of God. Galatians 5:22 tells us that the characteristics of holiness are nine-fold: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. Living holy is not only pleasing to God, it is displeasing to those who work evil in the world.

To live as a follower of Christ and to love your neighbors as yourself is an act of spiritual warfare against evil. The struggle can be waged by acts as simple as : telling the truth instead of lying, treating people with respect instead of cussing them out, listening instead of blowing someone off, ordering vegetable juice instead of a daiquiri. It could be : some gentle words for your girlfriend, a helping hand to an elderly woman in a store, an act of kindness to a stranger, just to be kind. keeping your lifestyle simple and less upper-class than your neighbor’s. You could choose to do something else, and that idea would not usually be from the Devil. But that idea would still have to be chosen *against* when there is a more Christlike response to be chosen *for*. Thus it could be something like : choosing not to abort your child, choosing not to throw your punch or draw your knife, choosing not to walk out on your marriage, choosing to stop trying to be a recording star so you can have time to work with troubled teens.

Holiness is the habit of being of one mind with God, according as we find His mind described in Scripture. It is the habit of agreeing in God’s judgement-hating what He hates-loving what He loves-and measuring everything in this world by the standard of His Word. He who most entirely agrees with God, he is the most holy man. A holy man will endeavour to shun every known sin, and to keep every known commandment. He will have a decided bent of mind toward God, a hearty desire to do His will-a greater fear of displeasing Him than of displeasing the world, and a love to all His ways. He will feel what Paul felt when he said, “I delight in the law of God after the inward man” (Rom. 7:22), and what David felt when he said, “I esteem all Thy precepts concerning all things to be right, and I hate every false way” (Psalm 119:128). A holy man will strive to be like our Lord Jesus Christ. He will not only live the life of faith in Him, and draw from Him all his daily peace and strength, but he will also labour to have the mind that was in Him, and to be “conformed to His image” (Rom. 8:29). It will be his aim to bear with and forgive others, even as Christ forgave us-to be unselfish, even as Christ pleased not Himself-to walk in love, even as Christ loved us-to be lowly-minded and humble, even as Christ made Himself of no reputation and humbled Himself. He will remember that Christ was a faithful witness for the truth-that

He came not to do His own will-that it was His meat and drink to do His Father’s will-that He would continually deny Himself in order to minister to others-that He was meek and patient under undeserved insults-that He thought more of godly poor men than of kings-that He was full of love and compassion to sinners-that He was bold and uncompromising in denouncing sin-that He sought not the praise of men, when He might have had it-that He went about doing good-that He was separate from worldly people-that He continued instant in prayer-that He would not let even His nearest relations stand in His way when God’s work was to be done. These things a holy man will try to remember. By them he will endeavour to shape his course in life. He will lay to heart the saying of John, “He that saith he abideth in Christ ought himself also so to walk, even as He walked” (1 John 2:6); and the saying of Peter, that “Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example that ye should follow His steps” (1 Peter 2:21). Happy is he who has learned to make Christ his “all”, both for salvation and example! Much time would be saved, and much sin prevented, if men would oftener ask themselves the question, “What would Christ have said and done, if He were in my place?”

A holy man will follow after meekness, long-suffering, gentleness, patience, kind tempers, government of his tongue. He will bear much, forbear much, overlook much, and be slow to talk of standing on his rights. We see a bright example of this in the behaviour of David when Shimei cursed him-and of Moses when Aaron and Miriam spake against him (2 Sam. 16:10; Num. 12:3). A holy man will follow after temperance and self-denial. He will labour to mortify the desires of his body-to crucify his flesh with his affections and lusts-to curb his passions-to restrain his carnal inclinations, lest at any time they break loose. Oh, what a word is that of the Lord Jesus to the Apostles, “Take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting and drunkenness, and cares of this life” (Luke 21:34); and that of the Apostle Paul, “I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection, lest that by any means when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway” (1 Cor. 9:27). A holy man will follow after charity and brotherly kindness. He will endeavour to observe the golden rule of doing as he would have men do to him, and speaking as he would have men speak to him. He will be full of affection towards his brethren-towards their bodies, their property, their characters, their feelings, their souls. “He that loveth another,” says Paul, “hath fulfilled the law” (Rom. 13:8). He will abhor all lying, slandering, backbiting, cheating, dishonesty, and unfair dealing, even in the least things. The shekel and cubit of the sanctuary were larger than those in common use.

He will strive to adorn his religion by all his outward demeanour, and to make it lovely and beautiful in the eyes of all around him. Alas, what condemning words are the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians, and the Sermon on the Mount, when laid alongside the conduct of many professing Christians! A holy man will follow after a spirit of mercy and benevolence towards others. He will not stand all the day idle. He will not be content with doing no harm-he will try to do good. He will strive to be useful in his day and generation, and to lessen the spiritual wants and misery around him, as far as he can. Such was Dorcas, “full of good works and almsdeeds, which she did,”-not merely purposed and talked about, but did. Such an one was Paul: “I will very gladly spend and be spent for you,” he says, “though the more abundantly I love you the less I be loved” (Acts 9:36; 2 Cor. 12:15).

A holy man will follow after purity of heart. He will dread all filthiness and uncleanness of spirit, and seek to avoid all things that might draw him into it. He knows his own heart is like tinder, and will diligently keep clear of the sparks of temptation. Who shall dare to talk of strength when David can fall? There is many a hint to be gleaned from the ceremonial law. Under it the man who only touched a bone, or a dead body, or a grave, or a diseased person, became at once unclean in the sight of God. And these things were emblems and figures. Few Christians are ever too watchful and too particular about this point. A holy man will follow after the fear of God. I do not mean the fear of a slave, who only works because he is afraid of punishment, and would be idle if he did not dread discovery. I mean rather the fear of a child, who wishes to live and move as if he was always before his father’s face, because he loves him. What a noble example Nehemiah gives us of this! When he became Governor at Jerusalem he might have been chargeable to the Jews and required of them money for his support. The former Governors had done so. There was none to blame him if he did. But he says, “So did not I, because of the fear of God” (Neh. 5:15). A holy man will follow after humility. He will desire, in lowliness of mind, to esteem all others better than himself. He will see more evil in his own heart than in any other in the world.

He will understand something of Abraham’s feeling, when he says, “I am dust and ashes;”-and Jacob’s, when he says, “I am less than the least of all Thy mercies;”-and Job’s, when he says, “I am vile;”-and Paul’s, when he says, “I am chief of sinners.” Holy Bradford, that faithful martyr of Christ, would sometimes finish his letters with these words, “A most miserable sinner, John Bradford.” Good old Mr. Grimshaw’s last words, when he lay on his death-bed, were these, “Here goes an unprofitable servant.” A holy man will follow after faithfulness in all the duties and relations in life. He will try, not merely to fill his place as well as others who take no thought for their souls, but even better, because he has higher motives, and more help than they. Those words of Paul should never be forgotten, “Whatever ye do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord,”-“Not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” (Col. 3:23; Rom. 12:11). Holy persons should aim at doing everything well, and should be ashamed of allowing themselves to do anything ill if they can help it. Like Daniel, they should seek to give no “occasion” against themselves, except “concerning the law of their God” (Dan. 6:5).

They should strive to be good husbands and good wives, good neighbours, good friends, good subjects, good in private and good in public, good in the place of business and good by their firesides. Holiness is worth little indeed, if it does not bear this kind of fruit. The Lord Jesus puts a searching question to His people, when He says, “What do ye more than others?” (Mt. 5:47). Last, but not least, a holy man will follow after spiritual mindedness. He will endeavour to set his affections entirely on things above, and to hold things on earth with a very loose hand. He will not neglect the business of the life that now is; but the first place in his mind and thoughts will be given to the life to come.

He will aim to live like one whose treasure is in heaven, and to pass through this world like a stranger and pilgrim travelling to his home. To commune with God in prayer, in the Bible, and in the assembly of His people-these things will be the holy man’s chiefest enjoyments. He will value every thing and place and company, just in proportion as it draws him nearer to God. He will enter into something of David’s feeling, when he says, “My soul followeth hard after Thee.” “Thou art my portion” (Psalm 63:8; 119:57). A Holy Moment (Supplies: Candles with drip guards, a 3X5 card with “GOD” written on it.) Place the candles in a circle on the floor in your church sanctuary; then have everyone sit in a circle surrounding the candles. Hold the GOD card in your hand and say:

When you’re given this card, tell the group about a time you experienced God’s holiness. After you’ve shared, hand the card to someone who hasn’t yet shared. I’ll give you time to think, but if you haven’t spoken within a minute or so after receiving the card, I’ll ask if you’d like to pass. Ask the group to stand up and follow you in single file. Tell them you’re going on a hunt for holy places in your church. Wander throughout your church (classrooms, bathrooms, closets, offices, and so on) and end the hunt at the door to your sanctuary. Ask everyone to sit where they usually sit during the worship service. (They’ll probably spread out.) Ask: What were you thinking when we started out looking for holy places in our church? What was the most holy place? Is this a holier place than other places in the church? Why or why not? What makes this place different than other places in the church? Do those differences dictate that we should act differently in this place than in other places, such as home or school? Why or why not? Ask everyone to gather around the candles again. Have them each take a candle. Turn out the lights, and light your one candle. Read aloud Psalm 95:1-7.

Pass the light to the person beside you, and have kids continue passing the light until all candles are lit. Then reread verses 6-7. Say: Let’s be absolutely still. The psalmist tells us to bow down in worship and kneel before the Lord. Let’s do that. (Ask everyone to get on their knees.) The psalmist says we belong to God and God takes care of us. Think of your candle as God’s light reflecting on you. What would you like to say to God at this moment? I’ll start us off… When kids finish praying, ask them to sit in silence for one minute. At the end of the silence ask them to blow out their candles but keep absolutely quiet. Ask them to follow you in silence back to your meeting area. 2. Hiding from God — (Supplies: You’ll need a large grocery sack for each person.) Gather in a circle. Ask: What feelings did you have during our experience in the sanctuary just now? What made that a holy time for our group? Give kids each a grocery sack and ask them to cover their head with it. Tell kids to stand up and mill around the room speaking to each other. Tell them they cannot remove their sacks. After a minute or so, ask kids to gather back in a circle with their sacks still in place. Ask: What did you notice about trying to talk to people with a sack on your head? How would our experience in the sanctuary have been different if we’d been wearing these sacks? In what ways does this experience remind you of obstacles that keep us from having holy times with God? Read aloud Psalm 100. Say:

We’re told to worship the Lord with gladness, to give thanks, and to praise his name. When we do that we enter into a holy fellowship with God. That means there are lots of opportunities for holy experiences if we look for them. It’s not just a worship service thing. Close with prayer, thanking God for those holy times the group has shared together.